Truth Imagined
Eric Hofferの自伝。Eric Hofferは２０世紀を代表する"Thinker"。放浪生活をしながらあらゆる学問を独学で学んだ人。幼少時に視力をなくし、１５歳で視力を取り戻す。彼の家族はみな短命で、自分自身も４０くらいまでしか生きないと思っていた。そのため、人生を「旅行者」として歩いている（た）と語っています。そのEricさんが放浪生活中に出会った人や出来事を綴った一冊。
（この本実はAmazon.co.jpでおすすめ商品として見つけたもの。Eric Hofferのことは名前も知りませんでした。Amazonを信じて買ったんだけど、かなりよかった。AmazonはAI使って顧客の購入履歴からおすすめを出してくれるようだけど、割と個人的にはよいと思ってます。）
Eric Hofferという人は、本当の意味で自由だったのかなぁと思った。社会的な「〜べき」とは相反する生き方をしていた。各地を転々とし、日雇い労働をしながら、ある程度お金が貯まると、１年くらい休んで毎日好きな本を読みふける。周囲からは定職の誘いもいくつかあったりしますが、どれもきっぱりと断ります。自分のやりたいことがこれ以上ないくらいに明らかなのでしょう。こういうゴール、目的がはっきりしている人は、個人的に思うと、なんとなく「死」を意識している人が多いような。AppleのSteve Jobsも、「死」を意識することは、充実した人生を送るよいツールだと言ってました。Eric Hofferの場合は、どこか「４０才までしか生きないから」というような意識があるような気がします。本の中でも「残りの人生を」という表現が多い。それと比べ、いかに多くの人が毎日を「何となく」生きていることでしょう。という自分も、「将来どうしよう、なんとかしないと！」、と悩みながらも毎日を「何となく」生きている気がしました。自由に生きるって、意外ともっとシンプルなことなのかなぁとも思えてきます。
いくつか好きな部分があったので、メモとして残します。
As I sat down to eat my lunch and count the money, I became aware of a deep misgiving. It was something I never felt before--shame. I was frightened by my readiness to lie, to say and probably do anything to make a sale. It was evident that in my case selling was a source of corruption. I might kill people in the street to make a sale. Perhaps I was corruptible in general and had to learn how to avoid temptation. ~page 21
Monday I loitered in the streets of the town amidst people rushing in a frenzy of business, and I felt neither guilty nor restless. I was a ladybird among ants. I remembered reading somewhere that people who achieved much first discovered their life's goal at the age of twenty-seven. In other words, twenty-seven is a crucial year in great lives. It amused me to think that, although there was no sign of future achievement, I took time off at twenty-eight to discover what I might do in the years ahead. ~page 25
There is no hope without self-delusion, while courage is sober and sees things as they are. Hope is perishable, while courage is long-lived. It is easy in an outburst of hope to start a difficult undertaking, but it takes courage to bring it to conclusion. It needs courage to win wars, tame continents, build a nation. Man is at his best when his courage enables him to prevail in a hopeless situation. ~page 43
The girls had a plan. Fred lectured me one evening about a goal. People must feel that they are going somewhere. It was a sin to waste my great talents. Helen had told her about the new physics. With my gift for theorizing I could do wonders. She was sure I could do better than any man in the physics department. With my extraordinary capacity for mathematics I might become another Einstein. It made no sense. The two women had made up their minds that it was their duty to make me a wonderman. It was sheer madness. I loved Helen dearly. But it would be meserable to spend my few remaining years trying to justify their expectations. ~ page 84
My feeling is that similarities are natural, but differences are made by men. Sometimes we know the names of the men who initiated the difference, but most often these men are buried in unmarked and unvisited graves. History is made not by irresistible forces but by example. ~page 109
